Mysterion Mixtapes: Purposed Pain

My Electricity

Verse 1

Left side lightning, fire in my nerves

Every jolt reminds me what still burns

Burns through the night, don’t let me be

Pain’s the only thing that stays with me

No warning shot, no courtesy

Just a scarlet thread of urgency

Verse 2

We’re wired inside, each thought a spark

Signals race from light to dark

Nerves are cables, flesh the frame

Every shock still feels the same

A body built in circuitry

I’m living proof of electricity

Chorus

You wired me with purposed pain

I bear the shock, but not the shame

Through every spark, You speak to me

A holy charge, my electricity

Verse 3

I count my days in beats and jolts

Measure my steps in careful volts

One day at a time, one breath, one fight

Holding the line through the endless night

The thorn I carry cuts so deep

It’s the wound that woke my sleep

Verse 4

I didn’t ask, I didn’t choose

But broken things are best for truth

Not punishment, not cruelty

This current runs right through me

I walk in pain, but walk in peace

A living wire that won’t release

Chorus

You wired me with purposed pain

I bear the shock, but not the shame

Through every spark, You speak to me

A holy charge, my electricity

Verse 5

It slowed me down, it cleared my view

Stripped away the lesser truths

The Spirit moved from head to toe

In every pulse, His mercy flows

My soul became the circuitry

Lit from within by electricity

Bridge

I cursed the storm, I begged it gone

You whispered, “Son, this makes you strong”

Not punishment — soul repair

A circuit fixed through midnight prayer

Your current’s not for vanity

You shock me into clarity

Final Chorus

You wired me with purposed pain

I bear the shock, but not the shame

Through every spark, You speak to me

A holy charge, my electricity

Outro

Left side lightning, right side grace

I met the Spirit in that place

Call It Amen

Verse 1

I took a hit I didn’t see—right in the chest, dropped to my knees

The silence laughed, the shadows screamed

I bled my pride through broken dreams

They said I’d be fine if I just believed

Talkin’ about strength—mine’s fighting to breathe

I’ve been down more times than I can name

I rise like light and I make darkness cave

Never let the dirt forget my name

Verse 2

They say I’m weak

But they don’t see

The hands that hold

The flame in me

They think I’m down,

But wait and see

I get back up

And I don’t flee

Chorus

It’s not about the pain they throw

It’s what I take and still won’t fold

I fall, I crawl, I break, I bleed

But hope still grows in battered seed

The storm don’t own the sky above

The fight is fire—but so is love

They think I’m down, they think I’m through

I get back up, and I come back new

And I come back new

Breakdown

Persecuted but never alone

I wear that verse like it’s etched in bone

I came to the table with fists full of doubt

My silence was louder than screaming out

I sat down shaking, but I stood up whole

The fear didn’t leave—but it lost its control

The test ain’t the hit—it’s the will to remain

To lift that cross with the weight and the shame

Bridge

This thorn in my side—it teaches me grace

This silence I ride—it sharpens my faith

I thought it was over

I thought I was lost

But He lit up my night

With a nail-scarred cross

I GET BACK UP!

Chorus

It’s not about the pain they throw

It’s what I take and still won’t fold

I fall, I crawl, I break, I bleed

But hope still grows in battered seed

The storm don’t own the sky above

The fight is fire, but so is love

They think I’m down, they think I’m through

I get back up—and I come back new

Outro

Though I fall seven times—I rise again

You call it weakness

But I call it Amen

I’m Scared, I’m Bold

Verse 1

Do what I’m told?

No damn way.

Ain’t gonna be controlled—

It’s been hell every day.

Fire burnin’ hot,

But I’m shiverin’ cold.

Time to bust that mold,

New rules takin’ hold.

Old rules? Fool’s gold.

I’m scared… I’m bold.

Verse 2

I ain’t goin’ back to that fold,

Need to break this stranglehold.

Pain’s ‘bout to get steamrolled,

Truth risin’, heart won’t withhold

It’s all gonna be said and told

No more walkin’ blindfold.

Brain outta prison—on parole,

Good behavior takin’ control.

I’m scared… I’m bold.

Chorus

I need Your touch. I need Your hold.

Take my arm, take control.

Don’t let me fold, don’t let me fold.

I’m scared…I’m bold.

Verse 3

I’m tired of the lies I was sold.

Of playin’ small, doin’ what I’m told.

Of pain left sittin’ out in the cold.

I want goodness—deep and whole.

Need somethin’ more to fill this soul.

Not just control—but a purpose to hold.

I rise…

I’m scared.

I’m bold.

Bridge

Let the light break in.

Let the fire refine.

Let the chains give way

One link at a time

I’m scared… I’m bold.

Chorus

I need Your touch. I need Your hold.

Take my arm, take control.

Don’t let me fold, don’t let me fold.

I’m scared…

I’m bold.

Outro

I’m scared…

I’m bold.

Head-On Now

Verse 1

Get a shot

Shoot a shot

Numb the pain

Can’t feel nothin’

Hide the hurt

Bite the dirt

Keep my heart from ever jumpin’

But I’m done with that

No more running, no more black

Burned them bridges down

And now I’m ready to go

Chorus

I’m done with that, I’m done with hidin’

Life’s too short to just keep slidin’

I’m takin’ every hit, every blow head-on

Every scar’s a song I can lean on

Yeah, I’m wide awake, I’m standin’ proud

Turn it up, I’m singin’ loud

I’m done with that, no turnin’ back

I’m ridin’ life head-on now!

Verse 2

Used to fade into the haze

Let the whiskey take my place

Every high just kept me low

Every “yes” was really “no”

But I’m done with that

No more running, no more black

Burned them bridges down

And now I’m ready to go

Pain’s a teacher, truth’s a friend

You can run, but you’ll break in the end

So I’m strappin’ in, I’m holdin’ tight

Gonna ride this fight through the night

Chorus

I’m done with that, I’m done with hidin’

Life’s too short to just keep slidin’

I’m takin’ every hit, every blow head-on

Every scar’s a song I can lean on

Yeah, I’m wide awake, I’m standin’ proud

Turn it up, I’m singin’ loud

I’m done with that, no turnin’ back

I’m ridin’ life head-on now!

Outro

I’m ridin’ life head-on now!

Head on now

I’m ridin’ life head-on now!

Backwards Baptism

Verse 1

I thought the sky would break for me,

If I just prayed hard enough to breathe.

But He pulled me under, held me down,

In that black water, I thought I’d drown.

Kicking and screaming in the undertow,

Cursing the hand I used to know—

But He was washing me in a deeper way,

Turning the night into the day.

Chorus 1

Backwards baptism, under the wave,

Thought I was lost, He was making me brave.

Buried in darkness, but I’ve come to see,

He was killing what was killing me.

Backwards baptism, water and flame,

I came up different, I came up changed.

Verse 2

Under that surface, seeds took root,

Fed by the silence, the mud, the truth.

No sun to guide, no air to share,

Just holy weight and a whispered prayer.

The deep was a cradle, the flood a friend,

Breaking me open to be whole again—

I rose with the light burning in my chest,

Not from escape, but from His rest.

Chorus 2

Backwards baptism, under the wave,

Thought I was lost, He was making me brave.

Buried in darkness, but I’ve come to see,

He was killing what was killing me.

Backwards baptism, water and flame,

I came up different, I came up changed.

Bridge

Oh, the grave can’t keep the glory down,

Fire in the flood, I’m holy ground.

Death in the water, life in my veins,

Love in the loss, joy in the pain.

Chorus

Backwards baptism, under the wave,

Thought I was lost, He was making me brave.

Buried in darkness, but I’ve come to see,

He was killing what was killing me.

Backwards baptism, water and flame,

I came up different, I came up changed—

Yeah, I came up different, I came up changed.

I Choose To Trust

Chorus

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

Guide me safely through the night,

And wake me with the morning light.

Verse 1

Exhausted, overstimulated

Overburdened, invalidated

Trying hard, but getting stuck

Spinning my wheels and out of luck

Verse 2

The pain won’t quit, the nights are long

Your silence tells me something’s wrong

I read Your Word and say a prayer

But it feels like You don’t care

Verse 3

I’ve cleared my junk, I’ve changed my ways

I’ve filled my head with Word and praise

I bite my tongue, I temper my fire

But still the weight climbs higher and higher

Verse 4

The road is dark—can’t see the light

Still, everyday, I fight the fight

I beg, I knock, I wait, I cry

Where are You in that big blue sky

Verse 5

I don’t feel strong and I’ve had enough

But I won’t quit—need to be tough

Feel knocked out, but I won’t bust

I won’t back down—I choose to trust

Chorus

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

Guide me safely through the night,

And wake me with the morning light.

Keep Writing

Verse 1

Have all the words been seen

Have all the words been said

Never in this sequence

Never been read

Verse 2

It’s a new page

A new way to see

Piecing the alphabet together

This time so differently

Verse 3

The words that came out

Used to make me flail

Now using the same letters

To tell a different tale

Chorus

Keep writing, keep writing

’Til the ending lacks doubt

Keep writing, keep writing

Let the truth come out

Keep writing, keep writing

Through the laughter and tears

Keep writing, keep writing

You’ve been writing for years

Verse 4

Ripped into shreds

For all to fall out

Keep writing, keep writing

Until the ending lacks doubt

Verse 5

Keep writing, keep writing

You’ve been writing for years

Keep writing, keep writing

Discover and overcome all your fears

Chorus

Keep writing, keep writing

’Til the ending lacks doubt

Keep writing, keep writing

Let the truth come out

Keep writing, keep writing

Through the laughter and tears

Keep writing, keep writing

You’ve been writing for years

Bridge

You’re writing your story

You’re writing for you

You’re writing your book

You’re writing what’s true

Write about what’s Good

Evil’s uplifting counterpart

Erase what’s in your head

And write from your heart

Final Chorus

Keep writing, keep writing

’Til the ending lacks doubt

Keep writing, keep writing

Let the truth come out

Keep writing, keep writing

Through the laughter and tears

Keep writing, keep writing

You’ve been writing for years

Empty and Lost

Verse 1

Empty and lost - dazed and confused

Where to find direction - my heart is bruised

Ears full of echoes - my thoughts overused

Chasing a signal - through noise confused

Chorus

Empty and lost - dazed and confused

Where do I go to find something new?

Still empty and lost - still dazed and confused

Where do I go to find something true?

Verse 2

Stuck in the answers- I thought I once knew

Asking new questions - ‘til the truth is in view

Caught in the static - my heart misused

Praying for rhythm - to finally get grooved

Chorus

Empty and lost - dazed and confused

Where do I go to find something new?

Still empty and lost - still dazed and confused

Where do I go to find something true?

Verse 3

Empty and lost - dazed and confused

Where is the way forward - what path do I choose

Sharpen discernment - no way I can lose

Listen to the universe - to learn my clues

Chorus

Empty and lost, dazed and confused

Where do I go to find something new?

Still empty and lost, still dazed and confused

Where do I go to find something true?

Finish

Listen to the universe - to learn my clues

Moved On

Verse 1

Used to light up every streetlight,

Laughter spilling out my door.

Every name in every handshake,

I was who they came here for.

Chorus

They think that I’m here,

But I’ve already gone.

I haven’t moved out,

But I have moved on.

Verse 2

Now I walk these blocks in silence,

See the same old trees still sway.

The shell is the same, but the soul’s been rearranged,

The old me just faded away.

Chorus

They think that I’m here,

But I’ve already gone.

I haven’t moved out,

But I have moved on.

Bridge

You don’t need a suitcase

To leave a place behind.

Sometimes it’s just your spirit

That moves beyond an unseen line.

Final Chorus

They think that I’m here,

But I’ve already gone.

I haven’t moved out,

But I have moved on.

I’m Not The Same

Verse 1

I stumbled hard I lost my way

His light grew dim my heart gave way

I reached for things that dulled the pain

Found no peace just deeper strain

This pain I carry has a place

It’s not the end it shapes my faith

He’s near the broken not the proud

He whispers truth beneath the loud

I wore the weight like heavy stones

Regret that rattled through my bones

But in my fall one truth rang clear

He saw me and still drew near

He loved me long before I knelt

When all I had was what I felt

Just shattered pleas and nothing left

He still chose me and paid my debt

Chorus

He saw my fall

Amen

He saw it all

Amen

Verse 2

I tried to fix it all with might

To earn my way back into right

But His mercy met me when I knelt

With grace more real than guilt I’d felt

Make me new I softly cried

Breathe fresh life where shame still hides

He didn’t flinch He didn’t flee

He looked right in and rescued me

Some shame still whispers soft but cruel

I hear you’re weak you broke the rule

But even thorns can teach and grow

His strength is in what I can’t control

He told me go write this song

He’s my Man when things go wrong

And so I rest in what is true

His power shines when I break through

Chorus

I gave my all

Amen

He heard my call

Amen

Verse 3

He didn’t waste a single fall

Each crack became a higher call

The noise that once defined my soul

My broken cracks made His Spirit flow

Even in the worst of what went down

Is being shaped and turned around

His good is coming slow not fast

But nothing sacred ever rushed past

The armor slipped but now I stand

With shield and faith back in hand

I’m flawed formed and battle worn

His sacred mess that grace adorns

Now I walk not proud but clean

On His narrow path where peace is seen

No pride No fear No disguise No mask

Just strength enough for each day’s task

Chorus

He changed my name

Amen

I’m not the same

Amen

Verse 4

You’re working out all things for good

Though I can’t see it understood

Even in the dark I’ll choose to stay

Your light will guide my narrow way

Good Lord help me in this earthly fight

To walk with faith and not by sight

Help me speak less listen more and be still

Touch my heart to match Your will

I’ll stumble yes and I’ll return

Every time a little more I learn

This road is sacred raw and rough

Always and forever Your grace is enough

Thank You Lord for not giving up on me

For staying near when I can’t see

For making all things serve Your plan

And holding tight to this tired old man

Chorus

His love became

Amen

I’m not the same

Amen

No claim is made to AI-generated instrumental music.